Rambling!

Life has been so hectic the last few weeks! Been trying to get in gear and get ready for a craft show that is this weekend in Winchester. Mom and Dad are going down to that. So that means Terri and I at home all weekend…. ALONE!! Work is going well in both places. I have worked a few days at Paper Pals in the last few weeks which has been nice, its nice to refresh my memory on how to do things. Hope I didn’t mess it up too bad for you Karen! J I have only 2 classes this month at Paper Pals which I believe will be good due to Holiday season and it gets busy in the Post Office during this time of year. I have been working there like crazy. I am the only PMR in this surrounding area so I work in Harvard and Sandy, my boss (The OIC) goes to the other offices. I have worked in other offices as well but she goes and I stay and work at our little cozy P.O. Christmas will be here before we know it!! I have started a bit of shopping, got my mom done! But that’s about it. I have ideas though so that counts... Right?? I know being close only counts in Horseshoes. I have decided that when I am thinking of a memory or something that has happened in my past, I am going to start a notebook or probably a document on my computer that I can just write in. I had an awesome childhood and so many good, and some bad of course memories of it. Why not write it down and keep it. I know Where are the pictures and journaling, I will get there some day! Remember I am trying to get more into the scrapbooking, I am more of a stamper! I think what got me off to a slow start with Scrapbooking is I started with a very emotional scrapbook. A scrapbook for Ben. And now I am stuck!!

I have been trying to be around as much as I can for Denise; I know what she is going through. I have been there. I wasn’t as close to my grandmother as Denise was to her grandmother, her grandmother was like a second grandmother to me. I spent a lot of hours with Denise and her grandparents as we were growing up. My grandmother died suddenly in 2001, but the after effects we went through, I hope no one has to go through. If you wish to know ask me sometime when we visit in person. I did however have my grandpa Warren, my mom’s father pass way in 1992 and that was a major thing. He was so close to all his grandchildren and he died suddenly as well. But as we suffer all the losses in our families, we need to look at what we have now, the family that is still here and focus on them. I know Christmas time this year will be difficult for Denise and her family, Denise, I am here for you in any way you may need me. But focus on family here and grandma wouldn’t want you to be sad at Christmas time, she always knew what Christmas meant to you and how it was your favorite holiday. I know it will definitely hard to go through with out Dan and Grandma. We that are here, are ready and willing to help you through it. You have helped me in so many ways through the years, let me help you now! I probably haven’t been there like I should the last little while, I want to but never really know if you want me to or need me. We all go through the emotions and physical drainage of loosing those close to us, it being anyone close like a friend, or family. And some of us will still mourn the loss YEARS down the road. There are many things that will come about that will remind us of them when we think we have forgotten about them, or a smell, even a stranger somewhere will remind us of how they looked. I know I still see people that remind me of Ben for sure. And someone here in Potlatch has a pickup truck the same height, color and kind as he had. Every time I see it my heart starts beating faster. But then I have to come back to reality! And know its not him. I went with Denise this Saturday to talk to the guy who is going to Tattoo her in December. Makes me want to be there! I thought for sure she would NEVER get anymore, after her first one!! I have 2 and there are a few more I want, but I think my next one will be Strawberry Shortcake, any of you that know me, know about how much I love Strawberry Shortcake, the older version, not the new girl!!! And then of course I want a Dolphin, and many more. Not that I will get ANY more of them but the 2 I have now, I am happy with as well. I think its awesome what Denise, and Clarissa are going to get. I have a memorial tattoo for Ben and its my all time favorite. Though I know its not a tattoo that anyone else will probably EVER have. We took a fire helmet, dragonfly, cross and a banner with his name and dates on it and put it all together. I also seen a dragonfly with a Pink ribbon I thought of getting too. I don’t know!!!! So many decisions. But I won’t ever get one I can’t cover up. As working in places I do I don’t want that to reflect my image. Alright I have rambled on forever now I better go and get some work done! HA – HA!!